Being Assertive 

It’s about 26 days and hours since i posted the last posts in this blog. I feel so bad since i have so much time to write. Let’s call this the lazy syndrome.

On one occasion a friend of mine asked “What would you do to friends who do not have good ethics in talking? impolite, act like a boss, yeah someone who was essentially sucks “.
“How about you? how would you react and deal with it?”
“I probably will not react with the same attitude”

“Thats good”
“But, I would be quite on her/him, making gesture, showing that I did not like his behavior until he avoid me in his own”.

Hmmm, I often met with annoying types of people like that. Especially when interacting in group discussions in social media, whatsapp, and others. I’m not someone who is good at managing emotions as well, but when someone behaves impolite, rough, with disrespectful tone, or may not use the greeting words correctly, I will reciprocate by behaving very sweet, emphasis on forms of sentence probably the most polite at all, for flicking, quipped, with hope she would be concerned to our actual intentions.

But later, I heard the words ‘assertive’, learning how to communicate assertively. What was assertive? Assertive itself is defined as an adjective firmness, confidence to be frank, with positive words. While assertive communication is the form of the ability to communicate in expressing what we want, feel, and think to others, without hurting the feelings of others, while maintaining and appreciate the rights of others.

So, when we use this assertive communication? Yes, it can be in a condition that I have discussed above, can also in saying ‘no’ to the solicitation, the words, other people’s requests.

Assertive taught us to be honest with yourself and toward others. Not merely issuing sweet words just for the sake of pleasing others apply a.k.a “to be fake”. If you do not agree with the opinions of others, we can deliver it assertively. Behind assertiveness, we should also include the reasons we behave that way. Examples: Friends, sorry … Your story may be very interesting, but now I need to rest because tomorrow i shouldleaving early in the morning to the hospital, maybe next time you could tell it.

However, assertiveness should also not accompanied by praise that contain insinuation, like: Wow, you are very good at telling stories, very energetic up-until late this evening are still active, but I have to get to sleep …. “. Yes, it might be pleasant to hear, but also contain a sentence that could offend other people.

Being assertive is often difficult to do, because as a friend sometimes we do not want to disappoint our friends with a refusal. Or we are too uncomfortable to be kind to someone with bad behavior. Both have their own challenges. However, with practice, and strengthen the soul to do so, assertiveness could become a daily habit.


About ainicahayamata

Nursing Lecturer who falling in love with words and Arts| Blogger | Maternity Nursing Specialist Candidate | twitter: @aini_cahayamata| Belajar Mengendalikan kata dalam tulisan|
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